Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Back with my blogs.. m not feeling good this past 2 days. I'm down. Totally breakdown. No mood to do anything and I'm hating this feeling so much. I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone or do anything. I just kept thing to myself like i did before. It hurts so much ok. I want to be happy free with pressure an stress. I just want someone to make me happy. Talk to me. When I do something great,no one ever seems to remember, but when I do something wrong, no one can ever seem to forget.Have you ever felt so alone and nothing makes sense? Well that's how I feel right now...I feel like I'm facing everything myself, with nothing but tears.Sometimes I wish I could just be a little kid again. So when life gets tough i can just play pretend.When my daddy was the only boy i ever kissed.When Disney World was the best place to be.And every time you were sad or you had a bad day.You could just run to granny and it would all be okay.I wanna go back to no hurt...and no pain...just laughter.When everyone always lives happily ever after.When I cry at night,the only thing I can think to myself is,how can I seem so perfectly fine in the morning. Why do I smile like nothing is wrong?And how does not one single person notice that I'm not okay? Words hurt more than anything else can, because they last, sometimes forever.I'm not saying I have nothing. I'm not saying I'm gone completely. It's just sometimes it's all a bit too much to handle.Sometimes I feel like it's too much.I'm not going to do anything stupid because I know it will get better, it has to right? Otherwise there wouldn't be anyone who would live past their teenage years.But for now, just for now, it hurts. I just don't feel like I know myself very well right now,so how can I be sure about anything? Most of the time I feel so awkward,you know, like I don't belong in my own skin,I get frustrated at everything, I could just scream and there's no reason for it,I just hate this. And to people out there, have you ever lived my life,have you ever spent one minute in my shoes? If you haven't, then tell me why you judge me~!!